Some reflections on a missing egg and how to deal with perfectionism.
I’m one of those people who loves eating the same breakfast every morning. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s a lingering habit from my strict eating days, but honestly, I enjoy it and look forward to it. A crisp apple, a handful of cashews and macadamia nuts, and a couple of eggs. Deliiiightful! 😋
Now, I’m lucky because my dad lives in a beautiful small village where he raises chickens. 🐓 He feeds them organic scraps—vegetable peels and, sometimes, fresh figs. Every time I visit, he gathers eggs in a carton for me, so I always have fresh ones waiting for breakfast.down the chicken hole: a missing egg and a perfectionist’s spiral
This morning, as I opened the carton, I remembered my dad saying he’d dropped one of the eggs last minute. So here I was, with 9 out of 10. I looked at the empty “egg seat” in the carton, and my inner perfectionist immediately started up: “Great, now my eggs won’t last the full five days... Should I make a 3-egg omelet? Or maybe mix one with tofu?”
I know this is the tiniest first-world problem, but anyone with a perfectionist mind knows how even small things can set off a spiral. Suddenly, I felt the urge to plan every detail to “fix” this imperfect situation. How to deal with perfectionism in moments like these is a challenge—and it’s one that sneaks up on me constantly.
examples of perfectionism in my day-to-day
Then, an interesting parallel came to mind. I saw how this pattern plays out in my life all the time. I can have, figuratively speaking, all these “eggs” in my basket, yet get fixated on the one that’s missing:-
Like the days when I finish 9 out of 10 tasks, and even though I’m exhausted, I push to get the 10th done because the idea of leaving it feels uncomfortable.
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Or when I’m standing in the yogurt aisle, completely stuck between two choices—one has my favorite flavor but isn’t lactose-free, and the other is lactose-free but not my favorite flavor. A simple choice that drives me insane. I find myself thinking, “I wish I could just combine them and make the perfect one right there on the spot. Or… should I buy the first one and pick up lactose enzymes from the pharmacy? But that’s out of the way, and…” Well, you get the idea. Examples of perfectionism like this pop up every day.
- And then there’s the absolute nightmare of having to text someone when I need to set a boundary. My mind goes, “Should I be direct and honest… but is that too harsh? Maybe I should do it in person, but then isn’t it too late? But is texting too impersonal? Actually… do I even need to say something at all?” And round and round we go.
Of course, you can imagine how much tougher things get when either the decisions or the “missing eggs” are bigger. These everyday choices reflect the causes of perfectionism: the drive to control, to avoid discomfort, to make every situation “just right.”
the mathematical formula to overcome perfectionism
(lol, no 😄)
Reflecting on this in therapy and daily life, I’ve come to realize it’s healthier to prioritize my mental well-being over achieving 100% perfection. I’m learning how to overcome perfectionism by living with the discomfort of imperfection. I’m better off knowing that things won’t always be perfectly aligned—sometimes they’re at 60%, other times 110%. Roughly. Approximately. Sort of. Kind of. So-so.
So what if the proverbial basket or the literal egg carton is missing one egg?
I can live with that.
I’d love to hear if you’ve had moments like this. How do you soothe your inner perfectionist?
PS: And when I talk about discomfort, I don’t mean deep pain or anything extreme—just that small sense of unease we sometimes have to live with.
